Growing Pains

The closer it gets to graduation and as the national college confirmation deadline has passed, senior year becomes a whirlwind of decisions and growing pains. Since 6th grade, when my group of friends first met and became inseparable, each of us has had each other to lean on and advise in what we thought of as the big decisions in life…what electives to take, who our other friends were, and what extra-curriculars we signed up for, some together, some not. Everyone knows that graduation means a parting of these ways and new groups of friends. For me this fork in the road has been a particular rollercoaster of emotions and opportunities and I am learning how to balance wanting to grow and be independent without leaving behind my classmates and friends.
My high school (Northwest) is about 30 minutes south of Oxford and usually has a decent sized group of students go to Miami each year. This year however is one of the largest groups and all 10 of us have spent almost all of our classes and free time together for seven years. I suppose the hardest part is that to be honest, when you’re finished with high school and feel ready to start college tomorrow, you realize that you’re ready for new people too. Granted, we’re all friends and have seen each other through the good and bad, but in high school your friends are mostly based on zip codes and class schedules. I can’t wait for college, to make friends with people because we have the same passions in life and want the same successes.
Succumbing to my need for structure and concrete outcomes, I applied Early Decision and had confirmed by the end of winter break. At our Accepted Student’s Luncheon with Dr. Hodge (in mid-April), one of my best friends and I decided that the most exciting and fun experience would be if we roomed together at Miami. Within weeks, the crossroads between high school and college caused me to have second thoughts. It seemed like everyday people were more stressed out about high school and the status quo than ever before. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how much I wanted a fresh start. I want to meet new people, have challenging discourse, and be able to learn from those around me. Hearing the same conversations everyday, I just became more anxious to get onto a college campus. It was a hard choice at first, but because she understands and seems to share my desire to branch out, my then soon-to-be-roommate also understood that I would rather utilize this chance to meet and live with a new person by having a random roommate.
The past few months have almost been like watching high school from the outside and every time I find myself on Miami’s campus, it’s that much harder to go back. My high school was my second home for four years but these last days have made me realize something: This is it. This is when I have to be sure of who I am and what I want for my future. I want to grow up and be my own person. I want my passions, not my clique to define me. Of course I’ll keep contact with my old friends, but I fully intend on making plenty of new ones and I’m not really worried about the balance. I look forward to making friends that share my goals and aspirations, and meeting new people from all walks of life. Don’t get me wrong, I will always cherish old ties and the people that have been there for me, I just feel like we are slowly redefining the connections that kept us together through thick and thin. Amongst my group of friends, we’ve always understood one another’s life goals and have learned to be supportive. Who knows, maybe four years from now we’ll be closer than ever but for now, I feel the need for a fresh start and can’t wait to meet my new roommate!

Fun Fact: The Voice over for Bugs Bunny was allergic to carrots! :)